THE MOTHER OF ALL DAYS

I felt the build up this whole weekend like it was Christmas. Maybe it was the social distancing visits I was going to have (the excitement at the thought of getting a taste of normalcy) or there really was something different, even special, about this day.

It was only just over 7 short (but too fast) months ago when I became a mother, but still the whole day was nostalgic. I replayed the day of September 27th in my mind on a loop. I still do often, but something about doing it today was different. It was as if I was realizing the magnitude of what had happened that day, how much that day has changed my life.

I told Chris that I’ve loved every minute so much, I wish I could hit the reset button and do it all over again. Like that feeling you get at the end of a vacation, “I wish it didn’t have to end, and we could go back to the beginning!” The only difference about parenting is, that it doesn’t end. Life keeps getting more and more amazing as we keep hitting new, exciting milestones. I remember when Lou was born, I was sharing the news with my teaching partner and he said “Not only does everything from here on in get better, everything you ever had becomes better!” And he was so right. I imagine it’s always going to be that way, and I spent a good portion of the day realizing that no matter how many years roll by, I’m always going to wish I could hit the reset button and go back to the beginning.

The whole day was such a shift in perspective, to experience it as a mother. I thought of how each and every year I spent so concerned about what colour flowers to get my own Mom, she was probably spending it doing the same thing; hitting the reset button in her mind and going back to those moments when her babies came into the world. How magical and sweet. The simplicity of it is the best part, flowers are a perk but the real treat is the day itself. There wasn’t an overwhelming desire to be pampered or sent away for a day at the spa (maybe give me a few years), I just wanted to indulge in my memories and let the gratitude sink in. I got the perks; breakfast in bed, flowers, surprises (thanks Daddy Chris).

But the best part of the day, was the fact that I am a mother. The wave of joy and love that overcomes you is a reminder that the experience of mother is such a privilege. I try to always remain very aware of how lucky I am in life, and it’s become the most important part of becoming a parent. I am lucky to have this happy, healthy baby. To be her Mama. The commitment my heart made to her is a privilege that I will happily spend the rest of my life honouring.

This photo was taken by the incredible Yaira Estrada-Wagner at Yai Photography