MOMMY SAYS "MOO"
If you’d of asked me any time before my child-bearing years if I would want to breastfeed my children, my response would have been something along the lines of “No way, at that point I’ll have given over nine months to that baby and I’m going to want my body back.” In reality, that could not have been further from the truth. From the moment Lou and I were separated I craved that connection, on a level that was more than just emotional. After we came home from the hospital, my Mom came over to snuggle Lou while I got to shower for the first time. I came out and my Mom asked “Ahhh do you feel so much better?” and I just started to sob. I’d been sobbing the whole time in the shower, so emotionally conscious of the fact that I was washing the experience and my baby off of me. Breastfeeding was an incredible way to still feel that connection to my baby, still being physically needed by her helped me emotionally move to the next stage of our journey together.
For the record, I had a crazy amount of milk. In the first few months, I easily produced a full freezer supply without actually even having to pump. Lou latched on immediately in the hospital, the nurse told me to “try for at least 15 minutes or so, every three hours” and 45 minutes later this babe was still on my boob. I had some nipple tenderness in the beginning, but nothing compared to the horror stories I’d been hearing. All in all, as far as breastfeeding goes, I had it pretty easy… and it was still WORK. I broke down crying many times, lost sleep, panicked about what she was getting… all the things. I truly cannot IMAGINE what some women go through to feed their babies, especially those that exclusively pump! So I can honestly say that, even though I completely loved my breastfeeding journey, it was what was best for me and my baby. It absolutely, one hundred percent, is not the best thing for every other Mama and baby, and I totally respect that. If your baby is not getting what they need, and more importantly if you aren’t getting what you need from the experience… THAT IS OKAY. If boobie time isn’t sparking joy, Marie Kondo that drama right outta your life and find a balance that puts you at peace when feeding your child. That may be supplementing with formula, that may be just straight formula. Whatever you decide, if it’s what is right for you and your baby, ALL the power to you.
Our biggest hurdles came with the fact that Lou suffered from pretty horrible acid reflux. She would spit-up such huge volumes of my milk constantly, regardless of how long it had been since her last feed. Whenever someone would ask to hold her I gave them a disclaimer of “Sure, but I hope that isn’t your favourite shirt.” To make matters more interesting, I had an overactive letdown and a supply built to feed a litter. On a few occasions she actually began to choke on her spit-up, to the point where we had to lift her up, flip her on to her tummy and pat her back to help her catch her breath. Those experiences, (coupled with the fact that it’s basically a right of passage for new parents to spend 24hrs a day making sure their baby is breathing), meant it took a little while before we got into a groove.
Before I knew it, Lou and I were pros. She nursed beautifully, I produced a lot of milk, and I was able to successfully pump, store and freeze a huge supply. It allowed me to take little breaks, and give the people I love the opportunity to experience bonding with Lou through feedings. Still, I was committed to the process. The fact that my baby latched and I had the milk to give her, was all the motivation I needed to jump the occasional hurdle.
In the end, I exclusively breastfed for four months. At four months old we slowly introduced Lou to infant cereal, at five months vegetables, and at six months old we introduced fruit into her diet. All the while I continued to supplement entirely with my breastmilk, nursing and pumping like a prize heifer. Introducing solids and common allergens was recommended to us by our doctor, and although I know it can be a topic for debate… it’s what worked for us. My mother had brought me up the same, none of us have any allergies, we’re all happy, healthy, functioning adults. Am I going to do everything my mother did thirty years ago? No, (starting with a diaper pail, but we’ll save that story for another day). In this case, we were comfortable with it and it worked for us.
Finally, at eight months old we introduced formula and began the farewell tour of our breastfeeding journey. The truth is the more solid foods we introduced, the less I was required to nurse. Breastmilk runs on a supply-demand model, and the less it became in demand, the less of a supply I produced. Also, whenever I would get my period, I would experienced big dips in my supply. My last period was a struggle to get through and still provide Lou with what she needed, and my freezer supply was too low to rely on to completely supplement her. So we made the choice to introduce her to formula while I still had enough of a supply to do so slowly. We started with a ratio of one part formula, to three parts of breastmilk. After a week we went to 50/50, a week later 3:1, then finally full formula. She took to it immediately, which may have made me a teensy bit sad but also relieved knowing the transition was smooth for her. I continued small feedings for a little while, but hung on to our morning nurse the longest. I loved rushing into her room, scooping her up, and sharing the first moments of the day connected.
If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know that I have a tough time with letting go. Milestones make my heart ache a little, because time is moving too quickly. I had no idea how I was ever going to say goodbye to this, but in the end I didn’t have to. It was Lou that decided it was time and that made it so much easier to take. She showed less and less interest, and let me know that she was ready. Truthfully, I did it much longer than I ever could have imagined, and finished the experience so proud of myself and Lou.
From our first nurse to our last, I loved every second. Women are phenomenal; our bodies are have the ability to create, carry and sustain life. Every woman’s journey with feeding their baby is different, and although I feel like a superhero for accomplishing what I did, I am not a professional. All I can do is share what worked for me, and hope (if it’s what’s best for you and your baby) it may work for you too. Regardless of what this experience looks like for you, just make sure it brings you both joy.
supply
Breastfeeding is a supply-demand business; the more you tell your body you need, the more your body will produce. If you hope to pump, freeze and store, it’s best to capitalize on this early (something I wish I’d have known). Every opportunity you have to tell your body to make milk, take it. That starts with your let down, unless you have multiples (in which case, god bless), your baby is only nursing from one boob at a time. Be sure to alternate which breast you begin each nursing session with and use the Hakka on the other. The Hakka is essentially a suction cup, designed to provide your non-nursing breast with a little pressure and to catch your let down. I can’t say enough about this product, it worked wonders for me. When they say every drop counts (whoever the hell “they” is) they mean it. I was able to catch 5-6 ounces of milky let down regularly, and didn’t need to pencil any extra time into my new-mommy schedule to do so. It’s the pinnacle of multitasking; nursing your baby while simultaneously collecting a supply to store. I used the Avent manual breast pump when I needed a little extra relief, and Avent freezer bags to stock pile my supply, they held enough for a bottle and were easy to date/label. Eventually, when I was struggling to signal enough of a demand for my body to produce a sufficient supply for my growing baby, I switched to the Medela Sonata breast pump. Once I got the hang of the right suction, etc. it was amazing. I honestly wish I’d used it sooner, to really capitalize on the early days when I was producing the most milk. For little boosts I would eat Booby Boon lactation cookies, and took Rumina Naturals Milk Aplenty drops. The cookies were tasty and seemed to offer a slight increase in my supply, and the drops where horrendous but offered a big boost (during a low period it kicked my supply from 5-6 ounces up to 8-12 ounces for a single pumping session).
comfort
Find and invest in a comfortable spot to nurse, we ended up going with a rocking recliner (not sure the brand) that was so comfortable I could sleep in it (and did on a few occasions). Being able to elevate your feet is huge for that postpartum period when you’re typically carrying around enough extra fluid to turn your extremities into balloon animals. Find the right bra for nursing, that’s supportive without being restricting. I went up three bra sizes after Lou was born, I looked inflated (different kind of balloon animal). I lived in my Aerie bralettes, wireless for comfort with padding for some support. For when I needed a little more convenience (aka boobs out at Starbucks) I wore these nursing bras. They were affordable, functional, and still managed to be pretty. Lastly, get a good nipple cream. That initial adjustment to your nipples becoming straws, is a tender one. As previously mentioned in the My Postpartum Musts blog post, I was obsessed with Earth Mama’s nipple butter. It (almost immediately) eased any soreness, and was safe for baby.
support
Breastfeeding holds a deep physical and emotional connection, so it’s no surprise that your emotional well-being and state of mind play a big factor. Too much pressure or stress can be a mood killer, taking you completely out of the moment and making it all the more difficult to nurse successfully. Seek support in any and every way you need it. In Ontario, lactation consultants are included in our public health care. An amazing resource that’s so worth tapping into! A lovely nurse came to my house, observed a nursing session, and was an incredible sounding board. She offered great feedback, easing any doubts, answering my questions and building up my confidence. She recommended lay-flat nursing until Lou was able to control the flow of my overactive let down, which was a huge help with her acid reflux. Don’t be afraid to be vocal with your family/friends about what works for you. If you need a private space with few distractions, ask for one. If you need a comfortable spot to sit, tell someone to move. Reach out to other new moms and share your tips and tricks. Use your please and thank yous, but advocate for yourself. And most importantly, communicate with your partner. In this new chapter of your life together, breastfeeding can be a lonely footnote if you don’t include them. Including them in the experience will make you stronger together; it’ll help them understand why you persevere through rough patches, why you cry at successes. It will give them the opportunity to tell you how completely bad ass you are… and you deserve to hear it.
