TALK MOMMY TO ME
One thing I quickly learned after becoming a mother, is that motherhood is a community. We’re all on this crazy ride together; there is no rule book for parenting, there is nothing that will work every time for every baby, and there are a million different ways to do things right. The best way to get through it is by sharing, listening, and lifting one another up.
So this year, I am so excited to have collaborated on this Mother’s Day post with just a few of the many women who inspire me. Provided with a few guiding questions, these amazing moms are sharing their perspectives, experiences and best pieces of advice. Happy Mother’s Day!
Meg
Owner/Stylist HairMD
Hi! I’m Meg! Wife to my husband of 4 years, mother to my almost 2 year old, Millie Mae, and dog mama to our yellow lab, Bruce! My husband and I both own small businesses, which keep us busy, but also flexible which works for us!
Becoming a mom was the best thing to ever happen to me. Cliche, but the truth! I can’t choose if it is easier or harder than I thought. Harder, yes. For so many reasons. It tests my patience & my relationships. But also, easier. Easier because from the moment she was born, so many other aspects of my life got easier. I no longer care or fuss about the little things. They don’t matter anymore. My family comes before anything and I enjoy taking pride in that.
My partner and I are very much busy bodies. Whether it be working, or socializing. We never really slow down. After having Millie, this had to change. And for the better, of course. Covid also had a huge part in this. But it has been really nice to slow down and appreciate what’s really important in life- family.
To be a mom means you’re responsible for another life. I love this responsibility more than I ever thought I could. The idea of that used to scare me, but I love nothing more!! Knowing it’s up my partner & I to raise a kind, loving human, brings us the most joy. And then seeing her personality grow, a mix of us both - is the coolest thing ever!
Someone who inspires me is my friend Stephanie. I look up to her as a friend, but more importantly, a mother. She is a mom of two and the most loyal and loving person I know. Its been super helpful having a “go-to” friend for all things motherhood!
The best piece of advice about motherhood I ever received was simple. Not to rush the small moments. Like, the really simple things- watching my daughter say hello to everyone and everything in the daycare before going to her classroom. It is so easy to rush off to work, but watching her say hello to the fishies everyday is one of the favourite parts of my day. Everything is so new and exiting to her, and I love watching it all through her eyes. These moments won’t last forever.
Lisa
Teacher
Hi! My name is Lisa. I am happily married to my husband Simon, and we are both teachers. We have two awesome kids: our son Benjamin is 9, and our daughter Anna is 6.
At times, being a mother can be easier or more difficult than anticipated. When my kids eat what is in front of them and don’t argue with each other - easy! Learning expectations vs reality in parenting - difficult! Things don’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.
A big thing I had to change about myself as a mother was my social comfort zone. I was content being somewhat of an introvert with a close circle of family and friends; a homebody with my nose in a book at night. But as my babies become kids with school friends and outside interests, I have become part of a wonderful community, and love the friends we have made as a family. We get to raise our families together and look out for each other’s kids like our own, and I’m glad to expand my horizon and be part of it.
The part of motherhood that brings me the most joy is seeing my kids happy and flourishing. When I catch the big grin on my daughter’s face as she masters a tumble in gymnastics, or my son pump his fist in the air after scoring a goal in hockey, my heart swells with pride and love. They are making their way in the world, and I am happy to be their cheerleader for life.
My mom is a true inspiration to me. As a stay at home mother (or as we like to call her, a domestic engineer), she is strong, loving and unconditionally supportive of us. From following our school bus as kids to laughing over a glass of wine and everything in between, she has taught me to show up for my children and I am forever grateful to have learned from her.
The best piece of advice I was given about motherhood would be from my grandma (albeit indirectly). She had a magnet on her fridge that read “You’re over the hill, enjoy the view!” As busy as life is, I make time each day to enjoy my “view” – like dancing and laughing in the kitchen after dinner, because time moves quick and the dishes can wait.
Photo by Richelle Hunter Photography
Candace
Teacher
My name is Candace and I’m a mom to the most magnificent nine month old baby girl, Lennon. She is the first child of my husband and I, and we couldn’t be more in love with our new family of three.
Leading up to Lennon’s birth I knew that life was inevitably going to change. I was prepared for the sleepless nights (although being prepared didn’t make it any easier), the inability to pick up and go whenever and to wherever we pleased (how I miss just running out the door), and of course the learning curve ahead of us (and oh boy was it huge!).
At the risk of sounding cliche, what I really wasn’t prepared for was the all encompassing love and shift of energy, emotions and perspective that comes with being a mom. Motherhood has proven to be simultaneously the most incredibly beautiful yet profusely demanding journey I’ve ever been on. The days can be long and hard - some more so than others - but when I compare the small daily sacrifices to the experiences I’m gaining as a new parent it truly seems like nothing. Why? Because these little humans have an uncanny ability to make each day seem magical. Every smile, sneeze, belly laugh, and milestone feels remarkable, making all the difficult days easy to forget.
I’ve also realized that, for me, some of the other little things that used to matter so much before motherhood have become almost mundane. My time and energy has now become something to cherish and protect, and ultimately I’m now more motivated to be the best version of myself because I recognize what a privilege it is to be the person Lennon looks up to.
While I already knew before, when I became a mom, I suddenly had an entirely renewed understanding of how strong and inspiring women are. I’ve never felt more dependent on and supported by other women in my life and, for that, I’m forever grateful by the community of moms around me who carry the title with such grace and who emulate pure, unconditional love.
The best advice I’ve received as a mom to date is “you know your baby better than anyone.” With a wealth of knowledge out there, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and sometimes lost on how to properly care for your child. Ultimately, however, I’ve come to find that simply trusting yourself as a mother and allowing your baby to guide you has been the most rewarding experience, albeit scary at times!
So, cheers to all you super human mamas out there - your babies are so lucky to have you!
Mallory
Librarian
I'm a 35 year old public librarian in southwestern Ontario. My spouse identifies as non-binary and goes by MoMo instead of Dad!
I had my son in my mid-thirties. Let's just say I was quite accustomed to my chill lifestyle and it was a jarring transition. I was also completely unaware of how intensely demanding breastfeeding would be. I really did think I could pop him off my boob and put him in his crib after 5 minutes. Wrong.
I am also not a morning person. That has had to change in a big way.
I love watching my son grow and develop into a person with his own likes, dislikes, interests and opinions. To some it may seem dull but we were all babies once, and the world around us was abrand new. I have developed a new empathy and understanding for people, knowing at our core we are all these innocent little creatures.
I am inspired by all mothers everywhere. We all work so hard and our labour is often invisible. I have had so much support from other moms.
The best piece of advice I got as a new mom was: if your baby is alive and fed you are succeeding. Don't guilt trip yourself over any of the finer points. Haha.
Katelyn
Teacher
My name is Katelyn and I live in Devon, United Kingdom with my husband, Sean, our daughter, Wren (9 months), and Stevie, our golden retriever. I have lived in the UK for about seven years working as a teacher. We recently moved to Devon to give our daughter a coastal upbringing surrounded by nature, but this means we are far from family and working together as our own little “unit”.
Is motherhood harder or easier than I thought? I’m going to cheat and say a bit of both. It’s easier in the sense that I am surprised at how quickly and how instinctively I bonded with her, how naturally my reason for existence became about her, how easily the love was there. I always figured I would struggle with that side of motherhood. It is harder in the sense that becoming a parent is a complete paradigm shift and there’s a lot to unlearn or rethink after living 32 years without a tiny human to bring up.
I’ve always struggled with self-esteem, particularly as it applies to my appearance. I realise that this is something I should seek to change anyway, regardless of whether I’m a parent, but now that I have a daughter it’s paramount to me that I’m intentional about the messages I’m sending her about bodies in general. I think of the years I’ve spent hating my body and the energy I’ve put into trying to change it and I really don’t want her to suffer the opportunity cost of all that wasted time. Equally, and in a much less serious tone, I also really miss being able to do things on a whim. I miss being able to pop out for a flat white anytime I feel like it, although I must admit I love the Mum Club coffee dates.
The part that brings me the greatest joy is being trusted so wholly. Seeing this person unfold before my eyes every day, with her own motivations and personality. Feeling her relax in my arms and how she has the confidence to explore something new because she looks back and sees that I’m there. I’ve also really enjoyed the comradery with other mums. You are having this intense yet amazing shared experience and it’s just that lovely moment when you share something quite vulnerable about motherhood and someone says “You too?! I thought that was just me!”
Honestly, I’m inspired by any person who wears the hat of a single parent. I can’t even imagine taking this on by myself. It’s made me realize just how much a marriage is about being on the same team, working towards a common cause. I am in awe of anyone who does this by themselves.
The best advice I received is that everything is a season, and “this too shall pass”. When parenting throws those curve balls or I’m sleep deprived, or I feel like I will never be anything but Wren’s mother for the rest of my days I remember this advice. It makes me take a step back from projecting my worries and anxieties into the future and reminds me that this phase will be behind me at some point, and I want to make sure I enjoy these precious moments.
Allie
Teacher
My name is Allie! I am happily married to my husband Cole, I’m an elementary teacher and new mother to my beautiful daughter, Quinn. On May 29th 2021, my life changed. Not only was my daughter born but so was I, the mother in me was born.
Becoming a mother has been simultaneously the hardest and best transition of my life. From the moment Quinn was born I became a new version of myself. The traits that I once thought defined me, quickly became buried by the new responsibilities I was given. I often looked in the mirror in the early stages of motherhood and wondered “who is that?”, “where did I go?”, “Will I ever feel like me again?”. It took time for me to realize that, no, that version of myself is gone and it is okay, because I like this version much more.
Out of all these instant changes that happened to me when becoming a mother I think the biggest change would be the constant adjusting to an ever changing schedule. Managing and adapting my day to properly complete the tasks or responsibilities I’ve always had while still caring for my child was a challenge. Working my days around whipping to the grocery store during a wake window, scheduling a feed right before I left to head out somewhere, or trying to fit in a shower during a nap was a definite lifestyle change. Adjusting to this new form of time management was and still is the biggest change for me.
Out of all the joys that motherhood brings me, the biggest joy is watching Quinn with her family. Seeing her with her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents shows me how unbelievably loved she is. Witnessing her with Cole and knowing that I gave this little girl the most loving Daddy makes me incredibly happy.
Being a mother is and will forever be my greatest accomplishment, the most challenging yet rewarding thing I have ever done. I knew this journey as a mother wouldn’t be easy but I was and continue to be inspired by fellow mothers I am surrounded by. My mother, my sisters, Cole’s mother all have supported me and guided me in this experience and I am forever grateful.
Motherhood has given me the intuition to see the “good old days” as they are happening. To recognize the moments I'll never forget while I am in them. If I can give any advice to other mothers, it is to recognize that this, what you are in right now, is what your previous self dreamed about, you are living your dreams. You are a mother, and a damn good one, so be proud.
Kate
Teacher/Blogger
I had to take part in the fun! If you’re new to the blog, I’m a mother of two girls, Lou & Andie, and have been happily married to my husband Chris for almost 5 years. I’m currently on maternity leave, but work as an elementary teacher and started my own personal blog just over two years ago.
I would say that being a mother is so much harder than I thought it would be simply because it’s hard to grasp how consuming it is before you’re in it. But the most surprising part is how easy it is to do, just because you love them so much! The biggest change for me personally, was learning that I don’t own my time anymore. I had to take a step back from being involved in everything that I wanted to be involved in. I never used to miss a get-together or concert, but how you spend your time isn’t on your terms anymore. Sometimes you just have to miss out! It was an adjustment in the beginning, but I don’t really feel like I am missing out on anything. These days are fleeting and I want to soak them in. Bringing these two girls into the world is without the doubt the greatest thing I’ll ever do. In the big picture, it’s given me a personal sense of having evolved into a greater version of myself, and that’s coupled with the motivation to continue being the best I can be for them.
I think the part of motherhood that brings me the most joy, especially with everything going on in the world, is rocking my girls to sleep at night, laying them in their beds and ending the day knowing that they are safe and loved. It’s simple, like all the best parts of motherhood are.
So many people inspire me, but my greatest influence comes from my Mom who proudly embraced motherhood as an identity. The influence of her own extraordinary mother, pours out of her in the love that she gives to all of us. She is the exceptional standard that I’ll forever hold myself to.
The best advice that I received was from my Nanny, and it was shortly after I was home with my first newborn. She told me, “Give yourself time and grace to get to know one another, you’ve just met after all.” As mothers we can put so much pressure on ourselves to have all the answers and know exactly what to do, but our babies are little individuals and we should embrace learning them.
