THIS IS BULLSHIT

I don’t really like this post because it feels so angry, but the reality is…. I’m angry. What’s happening in our province right now is disappointing, ugly, inexcusable, and as a mother... terrifying.  The fact that our government has seemingly left it’s own sectors in the rubble of the pandemic, while pointing the finger in every other possible direction and still nothing is being done to actually solve the problems… has left the people of this province feeling abandoned. With what feels like no where to go, no one to turn to, and the worse part… no end in sight. These systemic problems existed long before the virus, all it really did was bring them to the forefront of our day-to-day grievances. There has been no actual change or improvement. In fact, it’s only getting worse and we should be pissed.

I know this effects everyone. I know these terrible circumstances are realities for many people in this province. But I’m a mother, so that’s my perspective. And there is an undertone to all of this that’s hard to deny.

Over two years ago, I wrote a blog that asked the question What are we doing to our mothers? And despite so much time and opportunity for our leaders and our society to learn, and evolve, and make things better… I’m left with the same question and still no answer. Only I’m not just asking the question anymore, I’m furiously screaming it. On behalf of myself and every other mother I continue to talk to, and hear from, and see posts from… what the fuck is going on?

Mothers have an incredible survival instinct. It’s how we manage to run on no sleep, while taking care of our selves, and our households, and our babies. Among a million other things. It’s why we call our own mothers when we need help; when we need to know how to get a stain out of a onesie, or we want advice about feeding our child, or we want an opinion on a paint colour. Motherhood grooms you into a master of figuring it out. Moms have all the answers because they just do. All day long, everyday of the week, for years, they go through life at such a high-functioning level of productivity because their children depend on it… and it’s incredible.

But right now, our strengths are being taken advantage of. Everything keeps getting piled on and the expectation to just keep figuring it all out persists beyond a reasonable load.

When the pandemic started I was a few months postpartum. You know, the point where the baby isn’t a newborn anymore; they’re alert, and loud, and have a lot of needs that they can’t properly communicate. That’s the moment I was told (along with everyone else), to lock myself up. See no one, go no where. All of the sudden, against your will, your brain is being re-programmed to forget all the things people told you beforehand to make sure that you do. Things not only to help new mothers survive, but to support them so that they can thrive. The only way to describe it, was as a deep feeling of having been left behind. The mothers will just figure it out.

Then started the talks of a vaccine and it was the conversation heard round the world. While mothers were left asking “but what about our babies?” and no one was answering. Then, as the hunger games for a vaccine appointment started and the world slowly came out of hibernation, again mothers were left asking. But what about our babies? Life began to move on because a majority of the population had a layer of protection that our children didn’t have. Invitations and occasions started to exist again, but not for mothers. Sure, we had a layer of protection but at the end of the day we would go home to our children, and they didn’t have anything. And now, just as it seems the cloud of covid has passed, we’ve been left behind yet again in a different kind of storm.

I understand how everything I just said may seem like a whole lot of complaining. I know times were so hard for so many people, and the motions we all had to go through to adapt to this new normal were not easy. But it’s where we are now, that is the most upsetting part. Our children’s immune systems are weak and underdeveloped. Viruses are spreading like wildfire. There is a shortage on epidurals. There has been a perpetual shortage on formula. There also continues to be a dangerous shortage of infant and children’s medication. Paediatric intensive care units are at 115% capacity. Mothers with babies in respiratory distress are being turned away from our overworked and understaffed hospitals. So for last fucking time… what about our babies?

We continue to be asked to do the impossible and we continue to deliver, but this is it. Both metaphorically and figuratively, the shelves are empty. The fact that children’s medicine is readily available just two hours and a border away, is not a production issue… it’s political. I have yet to hear of a shortage of condoms or beer. There are not many fears worse than seeing your child fever and giving them a lukewarm bath just praying it will go down because you know that if you have to go to the store for medicine, you won’t find any. And if it gets bad enough that they need medical attention, they might not get any because the terrifying reality is that as awful as your child feels, there are so many more far worse off. Our government has left us in the trenches, with absolutely no care or concern for our mental health and that’s not even the scary part. Our greatest fear is becoming a reality; our children are paying the price. This is bullshit.

I know I speak for a lot of people when I say that I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve called my local MPP, I’ve voted, I’ve signed petitions. I’m pissed. This post will not likely change anything, I doubt Dougie is reading my mom blog. I just don’t think I seem like his type. Nonetheless, this is my call to action for our government to fix the problems that they have created and perpetuated, and have been sitting on for far too long. We have done the impossible, now it’s your turn to just do your job.